Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Blue elephants have feelings too, you know

Neelakandan is a blue elephant who hails from the North of Kerala. He has only one dream in life – to make ends meet. Can he make the tip of his tail touch the tip of his trunk? He kept trying. He had heard about Robert Bruce and the spider when he was a little bugger, you see. But no, he couldn't do it even on the seventh try. It seemed impossible. His Dad recommended Yoga. But Neelakandan only managed to twist his trunk around both his tusks and the SPCA had to be called in, who after unravelling him, proceeded to campaign against Yoga and langottis.

Neelakandan started losing hope in ever being able to achieve his dream. He became moody and listless. Nothing interested him any more. Juicy sugar canes seemed like brittle broomsticks. He started forgetting things. He merely started and gave a blank look when the local tailor pricked him with a needle.

His Mom and Dad decided to take things into their trunks. Yes! Marrying him off to a girl from a good family seemed to be the thing to do. They searched high and low for a girl elephant who would be the perfect mate for Neelakandan. It was no easy task. Most parents of girl elephants were looking for sons-in-law who were willing to sell their tusks and the strength in their trunks in the US market. Neelakandan however had an awesome pair of tusks and the longest trunk in the area; which he had hardly ever put to any use, let alone sell!

But finally they found their girl. Parukkutty! She was sweet and she was naive. Her smile lit up the eyes of the beholders. And the only thing her marriage portfolio said was "My dream husband is one who can cook Beef Pepper Fry and who will call me Kalyanikkutty". Mom and Dad were relieved. Easy! They had seen a good recipe for Beef Pepper Fry in
www.pachakam.com and Kalyanikkutty was by no means a tongue twister, unlike the name of their other daughter-in-law "Gajagamini Ajagajanthareyan".

The marriage took place in all pomp and glory. Neelakandan protested merely for the sake of it. In fact, after seeing Parukkutty he was rather disinclined to prolonging his bachelorhood. She seemed to exude a rare combination of animal sexuality and childish loveliness. The two newly-weds would talk for hours on anything under the sun. Neelakandan told her about his dream. She commiserated; she empathised; she shared his dream. And he called her Kalyaneee. The air in the bamboo forests was thick with their love.

Kalyanikkutty was a renowned bathroom singer, though she didn't find it important enough to put in her marriage portfolio. One day, Neelakandan heard her singing the following folk song:

: : "I buy a pig," the butcher said,
: : "And grind 'er up complete,
: : Excepting for the nose and tail,
: : For they ain't fit to eat.
: : That's why I'm always broke," he wept;
: : "I can't make both ends meat."

Oh! thought Neelakandan, so its meat, not meet! The tip of his tail was meat (since he had lost all his tail hair while doing a small role in the movie "Aanavaalmothiram") and the tip of his trunk was definitely meat. His dream had come true. He had made both ends meat. Now he could move on and not be bogged down by an unfulfilled dream.

The dream brought Neelakandan and Parukkutty together; and they lived happily ever after as Neelakandan and Kalyanikkutty.

- Aval


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