I Capture the Castle

I just finished watching "I Capture the Castle". I am floating on a dream... Life is worth living even if it is simply to stumble upon a gem like this.

Valentine's picks

Valentine's week was kindled by Pretty Woman, my favourite Cinderella romance and Devdas, my favourite Romeo-Juliet romance.

Elevated to another plane by the song "Fallen" in Pretty Woman. I cant believe how I have fallen for you.

Distant

For the want of a cause

It now seems worthwhile to live for a cause. In fact, that is the only life that seems worthwhile.

But not so long ago, I used to talk deprecatingly about people who needed a cause to live - mostly, a relationship. I have advised many a love-lorn girl friend that it is silly to think that you cannot live without a certain somebody. I used to despise naxalites and ardent religious men alike. For the record, I even used to scorn Shaari for commiting suicide in Oru May Maasa Pulariyil.

I built my life around the funda that happiness comes from within and nobody or nothing should be given the control or power to decide your mental state. Now I have a neat life, to be honest. Not a blip in the radar. It's a perfect balance of career, family and friends; responsibilities and fun; no uncertainties for a long time to come.

But now I am missing purpose. And thinking how fulfilling it would be to live for a cause. But you need the courage to be exposed; to be vulnerable; to be misused, misunderstood; to be unacknowledged; to be responsible for acting on your hunches; to travel down the off-beat path; to hear people say to you "I told you so."

I wish I had the courage to do that. To have taken some risks with my life; to have let go and let the cause take charge. Looking back, it's been a safe game all along. All the tried and tested moves; all the dependable choices.

But this lifestyle choice was not only because I was afraid of risks. I did not get my call. No cause beckoned. Nothing pained me, outraged me or moved me enough to want to change it. Poverty, child abuse, exploitation of nature - all seemed sort of removed from my world during the time when I was at crossroads in my life.

But as long as there is life, there is hope, isnt there, that one day, I will peel off the warm gloves of routine and start feeling alive again.

Its quite normal to have conflict of interest in a relationship. Trouble is when you have it with yourself. I am torn between the yearning for purity and simplicity on the one side and the urge to escape the routine on the other no matter the cost... Sigh! isnt there a Madame Bovary within each of us?

Look left.. Then look right.. Then look left again.. Then look right again.. Then cross the road and get killed by that truck coming from the left..

Choice – a cunning facet of the divine plan to keep us mortals busy. Also known as free will in some circles.

I always thought "having a choice" was a positive thing. It’s a wolf in sheep's clothing, I tell you.

If you don’t believe me, try picking a mutual fund to invest in.

- Aval

Nature's Reforms

Have I told you about Neelakandan's friend? His name was Mooshik and he was a very "cock-sure" and "full-of-himself" specimen of elephant-kind. He was of the opinion that the fairer species (yes, Parukkutty and her friends were a shade lighter in the grey scale) were just meant to smile and look pretty and generally just keep out of the way while they tuskers decided the important things. He quickly won a place in the first page of the bad books of all the girls.

Parukkutty by nature, did not concern herself with other philosophies of life, such as the one above. But she did have a couple of unpleasant encounters with it. Once she heard him pronouncing, to a group of by-standers, his views on polygamy. Apparently he was all for bull elephants having multiple partners but not the other way round. How appalling, thought Parukkutty, and immediately asked him to explain why! He said this way, every child would know who his Mom and Dad were!

One bull and three cows.. The cows have a calf each. Each calf knows his Mom and Dad.
One cow and three bulls.. The cow has one calf. Does the calf know who his Dad is?

Yes, this was before the days of DNA testing.

And there was this other time when Parukkutty won the first prize for the Best non-conventional energy project where she tapped the wind energy generated by ten elephants flapping their ears. Mooshik hooted from the back of the crowd and said that she won the prize because she smiled at the judges. Parukkutty ran to Neelakandan for solace. Neelakandan 'Tch Tch'-ed and 'Tsk Tsk'-ed through the whole story and told her that she shouldn't trouble herself over Mooshik. He was just being jealous. Neelakandan assured her that she had won the prize purely out of merit and 'So What' even if she had flirted. He said that flirting was the birth right of the female of the species. He lent her his hand kerchief to blow her trunk on and he was on the whole so sweet that Parukkutty didn't have the heart to ask him when he had last washed his hand kerchief.

Well, this story just goes on to say that when Parukkutty saw Mooshik again after long years, he had two cute little baby girls twisted round his trunk and he was humming to the tune of "Papa kehte hain bada naam karega.. Betiyaan hamaree aisa kaam karega.. " Nature's way of dealing with male chauvinism, you think?

-Aval